In the last two weeks there have been four deaths within two degrees of me. It's been a strange and sad time. The departed are a Grandfather, an eighteen year old by Her own hand, a Man dedicated to the safety of others, and a person on a flight with icy wings. In each case I know several people who where close to the departed. With any of these I would try and give comfort to my direct friends and it probably wouldn't have effected my daily life too much. When combined in such a short time it has had a profound effect on me. I have found my thoughts consumed with questions of mortality, morality, dogma, and just "why?". I am not normally one to do the whole "why god?, why?" thing but it did cross my mind. I just felt the need to grieve.
My feelings on this have been amplified by the fact that I am all alone right now. My Wife and Son are out of town helping directly with one of the families of the departed. They are off in the thick of it both helping and grieving while I am here in Los Angeles. The work my Wife is doing is incredibly important and she is being an amazing friend. This still left me here and my need to grieve.
I decided that like many artists before me I would express my grief though my art. I have spent my first valentines day alone in ten years at four cemeteries. It was an experience that has changed my perspective on things. I am no longer filled with thoughts of sadness. I saw unexpected things, things of tremendous beauty and sadness. Most of all I saw and bared witness to something most people never see and brought my artistic vision to bare on it. This series of photos more that others I have done in the past are meant to be seen in order and together as a set. It's only together that they complete the puzzle of emotions that was my day.
In the distance I saw a large family and an amazing display of flowers and balloons. I went down and talked to them, to find out who was so special. The woman seated at the grave told me It was her daughter, no more than 6 years old. Its a level of tragedy I never want to experience. It truly put my grief and emotions in sharp relief. This family came together and had lunch and dinner by her side. There missing family member. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. I no longer felt the need to grieve.
Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.
